Turning the Spotlight
Relationships are a necessary part of healthy living, but there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Relationships, from acquaintances to romances, have the potential to enrich our lives and add to our enjoyment of life. However, these same relationships can cause discomfort, and sometimes even cause harm.
Hall Health Centre, University of Washington
Are you in a relationship that’s causing distress or harm?
Are you:
- Worried about your or your partner’s behaviour?
- Concerned that you or your partner’s behaviour is abusive?
- Struggling to communicate?
- Finding arguments are getting out of control?
- Feeling that your relationship may not be healthy?
Turning the Spotlight could help
Turning the Spotlight is a service offered by Victim Support Cumbria. We help people who are having problems with:
- their relationships – leading to arguments
- an unhealthy relationship
- abuse.
We provide a behaviour change programme aimed at those who want to stop using harmful behaviour towards an intimate partner, allowing them to understand their behaviour, take responsibility and make positive change. Alongside this, we support victims and give them a safe space to understand what a healthy relationship looks like and to help restore their confidence and self-esteem.
Turning the Spotlight is a free, confidential, and non-judgemental service.
You can refer yourself to Turning the Spotlight, or another agency may refer you to us.
Group work sessions
Depending on your situation and needs you could take part in one or more of the following group work sessions:
A twelve session voluntary programme for people who are causing harm. It encourages people to share their behaviours, preventing negative ones coming back.
This will primarily be group work. We find there is a lot more learning that can be had from engaging with others in a group. Working in this way helps build confidence and communication skills. Groups will be delivered either in a hybrid way with some sessions online and in-person or all online.
The healthy relationships programme is split into three modules: general awareness, self- awareness and skills for change, with every session linking to the next. You will cover topics such as:
- What is a healthy relationship?
- Toxic masculinity, values and belief and how they affect our behaviour.
- The link between thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
- Communication.
- Anger and how we can better communicate our underlying feelings.
- Learning to look at situations from a different perspective.
- Taking responsibility and how this leads to a better outcome.
- Resilience.
- How to maintain changes.
A seven session course for those in an abusive relationship. I Matter supports the person to understand the direction of change for their partner so they can work together to bring about positive changes. The programme encourages people to share their behaviours, thoughts and feelings. Those taking part can work in a group and/or in one-to-one support sessions.
A four session programme for parents who have successfully completed the Healthy Relationship and I Matter courses. Those taking part will explore how conflict impacts on children and how to avoid it in the future to build a harmonious family life.
What you’ll gain from Turning the Spotlight
The programmes within Turning the Spotlight can offer:
- Better communications skills
- Calmer home life
- Better understanding of your feelings and how they impact on your behaviour
- Techniques to help you stop minor disagreements from escalating
- Empathy – looking at situations from another perspective
- Self-awareness
- Personal development
- Tailored support to address any needs that may be causing you stress
FAQs
A member of the Turning the Spotlight team will contact you to discuss the situation and challenges you’re facing. Each person is given a supporter, who’ll carry out an initial assessment to make sure the service is right for you. If Turning the Spotlight is right for you and your situation, the supporter will provide help to access our programmes.
We are a confidential service.
However, we do ask that if you are engaging with other services such as children’s services, we are able to make contact with them.
It’s very important we work in partnership with agencies and all practitioners connected to yourself and your family for the duration of this course, to keep them informed and increase their awareness of the work that is taking place. We’ll only share necessary information linked to your engagement on the course unless we deem yourself or somebody else to be at risk of harm and in this case we have to inform relevant agencies of the increase in risk.
Our referral criteria is below:
- Both perpetrator and any linked victim must consent to contact from Turning the Spotlight (TTS).
- We must have at least one victim who consents to us contacting them for each referral.
- People enrolling onto the programme must be living in Cumbria.
- They also must be aged 18 or over.
- The people must accept and recognise there is a problem and be motivated to do something about it.
- Awareness that information sharing is part of working with TTS and consent for this must be given.
- There must be no active private family court proceedings or been any within the last 12 months.
- There must be no active criminal investigation regarding any domestic abuse or violence.
- We would not be able to work with the couple until any criminal investigations are fully completed.
Your supporter will do an assessment whereby your needs will be reviewed to decide which programme is most appropriate.
Our healthy relationships programme has 12 sessions and our partner support programme has 7 sessions. However, we will continue support where necessary and make onward referrals to ensure you’re accessing the right support even after completing a programme with ourselves.
We work with you on an individual basis as we find you are better able to open up and work on your own behaviours this way.
After completing the healthy relationships and partner programme, there is scope to complete the children matter programme together if this is appropriate. We’re not a counselling service and do not provide relationship counselling.
We’re an independent service separate from the police and children’s services. However, we can attend multi- agency meetings and can advocate for you within these meetings.
Feedback from Turning the Spotlight participants:
‘At first I was anxious and uncomfortable but by week three I started opening up and learning. I can honestly say I have enjoyed the course and found it very useful in every day life.
‘I tend to debate more with people rather than getting aggressive and letting things get out of hand. I’ve learnt to allow the other person time to speak and explain how they feel and not getting angry just because I don’t agree.
‘The course was extremely beneficial. It has had a massive impact on my life especially at home and in my relationship’.’
‘Understanding that sometimes trying to win an argument to make your point is not worth the stress and hassle it can cause when we should work as a joint unit’
‘It’s tough to inwardly critique yourself but it’s needed to learn and grow for a better quality of life’
‘It is a good course that makes you think about the potential trigger points in relationship interactions – and how to manage them’
