Domestic violence
Do not suffer in silence - we are here to help
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Domestic violence is very common and can ruin people's lives. The police estimate that they get a call every minute from someone who is a victim of domestic violence.
The term means threats, violence or abuse between people who have a relationship with each other (or have had in the past). Some organisations use the word ‘abuse’ instead of ‘violence’. We think these terms are interchangeable.
Domestic violence can happen between partners, within families or shared homes, and affects men and women in both straight and gay relationships. It happens between people of all cultures, religions or classes. It’s based on one person having power or control over another. Physical violence is a common part of it – and this can include sexual assault – but it can take other forms such as psychological harm, emotional abuse or controlling someone's life financially or by restricting their freedom. Often it can start gradually – perhaps name calling or threats – but it usually gets worse as time goes by.
People who suffer this kind of abuse often stay in the situation, for many different reasons. Perhaps you are frightened to leave as you worry your abuser will try and stop you and become even more violent. Perhaps you rely on your abuser for financial support or worry about losing access to your children. You may also enjoy the good times you have and keep hoping it won't happen again.
But never forget that it is a crime for someone you know to attack you in your own home or elsewhere - whether they are your partner, a family member or someone you share your home with. Whatever the abuser might say, violence like this is never your fault. Nobody has the right to abuse you in this way. You may be made to feel responsible and guilty for the abuse but the source of the problem is the abuser, not you.
You do not have to suffer in silence. You can contact us in confidence and our volunteers can help you by talking with you, giving you emotional support and helping you to see and understand the choices that you can make to help stop the abuse. If you decide, at any stage, that leaving the abuser or your home is something you need to do we can help support you as you move away. This can include giving you information about health, housing, social security benefits and other sources of help. Whatever you chose to do, we know that your safety is the most important thing.
The decision to take action against your abuser may be difficult. But if you do decide, at any time, that you want to report the abuse to the police, we can provide information and support. We can also support you if you choose to go to court.
Get in touch: we can help
Most people are referred to us by the police when they report a crime. But anyone can
contact us directly if they want to for confidential help, support and information.
You can also email or call the Victim Supportline on 0845 30 30 900 for support and information.
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